Seven years ago I was a professional paralegal working in the top story of a tall building. I put makeup on every day, wore cute shoes, attempted the trendy working girl clothes (I’ve never had much style…just enough to keep off the show What Not to Wear), I was disciplined in the morning with a set schedule on greeting the day ahead of me. I loved my career not just because of the clothes but because I loved feeling accomplished. I worked hard for my education and “made it”!
After two years of trying for a baby, Isaac showed up and my heart quickly changed. I’m the most selfish mom in the universe and yet baby Isaac had this way of drastically changing my focus. I found myself dreading going back to work after maternity leave! But financially I still needed to work. I longed to be home with this adorable little man. I missed his first big belly laugh, I missed his first crawl, I felt like I missed everything!
Sometimes I feel like I treasured the time with him more because every moment was that much more precious. Of course looking back there are things that were amazing that I miss now like the super happy greeting I’d get at the end of my work day…and, let’s be honest…the time out of the house!
God answered the desire of my heart to be a SAHM when we received the call to move to Sunnyside. I was so overwhelmed with thanksgiving that I would be able to be more of a part of watching my baby grow up full time!
(Just a side note: If you are a working mom I have high respect for you! We’re all called to our own paths and I don’t think there’s one better than the other. The trick is to find the balance.)
I remember a month into my new job I found myself laughing hysterically because I was convinced God blessed me only to humble me and show me I suck at the whole SAHM thing. Lol! I had become a freaking Israelite in the middle of a desert, scared of Pharoah’s army, whining, complaining, and saying “I’d rather have stayed a slave than die in the desert”! (Exodus 14:10-12) But I was called to be home in this time and now I understand why. Ministry is hard work! We often joke that the reason our two kids are almost 4 years apart is because the church was our middle child (I hope it hasn’t suffered from middle child syndrome!) 😆.
With being a SAHM I’ve become lackadaisical in my comfortable home, wearing pj’s all day when I have no errands to run, never wearing anything but comfy clothes until Sunday, including doing my hair or makeup! I have clothes in my closet that bring me joy…I just don’t wear them. I opt for the leggings and oversized sweatshirt or jogging shorts and plain tank over the skinnies and silky tops.
As I stood there staring at my closet asking myself “self, I love you, why don’t you love you back?! What happen to the good old days where we used to have fun picking out outfits together?” Oh Stacy and Clinton would have a hay day with me!
So out goes the ratty clothes that do the job but bring me no joy. I want the same joy I had when I was a little girl playing with my mom’s fancy clothes and jewelry and makeup. If there is something in my closet that doesn’t make me feel like the princess that I am then out it goes!
I’m being ruthless…I’m my own Staci and London, and folks, I just qualified for my own episode of What Not to Wear. And if I have no pants or shirts in the end then my husband will come home to a really nice surprise!
I filled up one full bag of clothes for the women’s shelter and a full bag of garbage in 15 minutes. Don’t think about it just do it!
And to reward myself I took self conscious’ suggestion and grabbed a new set of pj’s at Walmart as I was picking up milk.
Tomorrow is day 2 of the master closet because I know I’ll fill more than one bag and I bet you will too!